Tom Mayhew, the Man, the Myth, the Rose

By Bill Kozemchak

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When Tom was honored with a rose named after him, for his 80th birthday, I put together a Facebook album of our many memories together. While trying to come up with a name for it, this one came to mind. I thought it was perfect, there was no finer man I knew, the talent, knowledge, and accomplishments he achieved, seemed almost myth-like, and now he was also a rose. I also asked members of the rose society to write a paragraph or two to honor Tom, for the newsletter, to go along with the announcement of the Tom Mayhew rose. Tom in his usual humble manner, thanked me profusely, and could not believe so many people took time, to write such kind words. As I explained why these friends did this, he just kept saying, “I don’t really deserve this, I don’t do that much for people.” This was typical Tom.

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Tom’s honors in the rose society were many, he was awarded the Silver Honor Medal for the Penn-Jersey District, as well as Outstanding Judge and Outstanding Consulting Rosarian. He was designated a Master Rosarian, for 10 years or more outstanding service. He was awarded the Bronze Honor Medal by both the Philadelphia and West Jersey Rose Societies. He was a long-time board member and Recording Secretary for the Philadelphia Rose Society. When the American Rose Society wanted to develop guidelines for their Photography Contests, Tom was one of the first people they asked, to be part of the committee. Tom’s photos and roses were always amongst the best in any show or contest he entered, and it was a challenge to compete against him.

  

I have had the pleasure of knowing Tom since 1996 when I joined the Philadelphia Rose Society. We developed a friendship quickly since he is such a kind, sharing and knowledgeable person. When I started exhibiting, it was mostly hybrid teas and floribundas with a few miniatures. I started noticing how well Tom did with other types of roses; OGRs, shrubs, polyanthas and climbers, and thought I would like try growing and showing other types of roses like he did. With his help and suggestions, I started competing and winning in these other classes, usually head-to-head with his roses. He always seemed excited for me as I would win another different class until I finally had gone through all the different classes in the horticulture part of the rose show. We often decide to grow a new rose because the other, has tried it and done well with it. We often asked each other’s opinion on roses we were entering in a rose show, even though we were competing with each other. It wasn’t unusual to say or hear, “I guess I gave you the right advice, you won that class!”, and a heartfelt thank you would follow.

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When I decided to try my hand at photography, it was seeing Tom’s gorgeous photos that inspired me to improve my skills to be able to compete with him. Not having any training or background with this, I looked to Tom to help teach me and give me feedback on techniques in shooting, composing and editing my photos. It was not an immediate jump to being able to compete with him, but a journey with him guiding me along a step at a time, and thoroughly enjoying my progress each year and contest I entered. I few years ago I found myself in the Master Class of the ARS photo Contest competing with him and quite a few other excellent photographers. What a thrill it was when I won one of the four Master Classes in 2011, my first year entering them. The next year I won Best of Show and got the ARS magazine cover for the May/June issue. I’m pretty sure Tom was as excited as I was when he found out. He loved teaching others, whether it was photography, rose growing, exhibiting, or life advice, if you asked for his help.

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Tom has been a big part of my life, for close to 30 years, and his passing was so unexpected. He was one of the most generous people I ever knew, and also one of the kindest. We shared the love and obsession of roses and photography, and he made me so much better in both aspects of this hobby. We loved visiting each other’s gardens, talking on the phone and attending rose events together. We always heard there's Tom, where's Bill, or there's Bill, where's Tom. It was an honor to be mentioned in the same sentence with Tom. When we were nominated for the West Jersey Rose Society Rosarian of the Year Award, they said they could not give to one of us, and not the other, so we were awarded together, the same year. I think that was the only time that ever happened. As he has been attending fewer rose events the last few years, I felt like part of me was missing, my buddy isn’t here.

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Tom lived about 20 minutes away from me, so when I opened my garden for the local rose societies, he would also open his, so people coming could visit two gardens at the same time. As the editor of The Rose, the newsletter of the Philadelphia Rose Society, I could always count on Tom for articles to use in the newsletter and also to post on our web site. He has also given countless programs on rose growing and photography for local societies and garden clubs in our area. Many rose societies and rose conventions do raffles as a way to offset their costs and it is not unusual to see framed, metal or canvas wrapped prints of Tom’s photos in the raffle that he has donated. They are also some of the most desired items in the raffle, and the bags for the tickets are always quite full. Many times, if someone mentioned how much they loved one his photos, they would end up with a print in their possession not long after that. He loved making people happy, and was so amazingly generous.

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It seemed like every spring, for the last 10 years, I would stop by the house, and the front patio was covered with pots of new roses. Tom would say, this is the last year I’m doing this, I’m getting older, and this is my last hurrah! The next year, I got the same answer, but he couldn’t keep a straight face while saying it. Then, he would say, they’re not all mine, I got some for other members of the family. It became a running joke, Tom, I thought last year was your last hurrah? Then we just laughed together. I’m really going to miss those funny and wonderful moments with him.

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At the West Jersey picnic, a few days after his passing, we set up photos boards to honor Tom. There were so many wonderful memories of times we shared with an amazing man. We all loved and admired him so much, even the newer members, who only met him a few times. People shared stories of his generosity, talent, knowledge, and humanity. The main attributes people stressed, were his kindness and generosity.

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Our world is a little less bright without Tom in it, but we are better people for having him touch our lives.